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Jane Jensen Juliet Capulet
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Will Keenan Tromeo Que
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Valentine Miele Murray Martini
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William Beckwith Cappy Capulet
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Debbie Rochon Ness
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Earl McKoy Monty Que
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Sean Gunn Sammy Capulet
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Ian Fraser Kilmister Narrator
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Stephen Blackehart Benny Que
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Flip Brown Father Lawrence
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Tiffany Shepis Peter
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Steve Gibbons London Arbuckle
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Joe Fleishaker 1-900-HOT-HUNK
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James Gunn Found a Peanut Father
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Lloyd Kaufman Shocked Onlooker
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Lisbeth Kaufman Mutant Kid
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Charlotte Kaufman Mutant Kid
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Caroline Smith Pauline
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Jacqueline Tavarez Rosy
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Jason Green Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. (uncredited)
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